My online subscription has officiallly ended — and naturally I would get flooded with emails today.
Son of a bitch! Sometimes I wish I wasn’t such a curious person (not really). But what I have learned from my two month long stint is that the chances of these emails being from someone I find interest in, are quite slim. But still…. what if? I can feel my credit card burning a hole in my pocket……
Alright, so I know that I need to give every-day-life meeting-people-spontaneously a decent shot. Or just back off completely. You know, sometimes I still think that rock I was hiding under is a pretty fucking awesome place to be…. it was just simply easier.
I guess it is becoming quite clear that I am not really looking for/wanting/needing/(ready for) a relationship. I just want to meet people. I want to someday find myself in a situation where I meet this super kick ass friend, and then I have that epic “ah-ha!” moment one morning and realize that that friendship is evolving (rather than wanting to shrivel up and die over the thought of feeling stuck, suffocated, and criticized for all of eternity).
God, I watch way too many fucking movies.
I blame you, Disney.
What I do know, is that I need a bit of time to clear my head (and stop PMSing) and just forget about this whole thing for a bit. If after a couple weeks I decide to try again, sweet. If not, sweet.