Category Archives: Blog

Judgement Day.


Let’s travel back in time a couple weeks (yes, I can totally do that).

I left you all off around movie night, I believe. Joe and I started talking and hanging out a little more regularly and I finally began to loosen up and feel truly comfortable around him. So after a spontaneous night in Santa Monica and an incredibly refreshing afternoon of eating, lounging, and laughing I decided maybe he should meet a couple of my friends.

My friends, by the way, have been begging to see him probably since our first initial phone call. They don’t waste any time.

At first, I was trying to put this off as long as possible. It just made things seem that much more official and I hadn’t been sure if I was ready for that. But for whatever reason, at that exact moment, it seemed like the most genius idea in the entire world. This was probably the biggest/best chance I have taken with this guy. Everyone got along great and it was nice to see him interact with my friends (who were very quick to point out that I should take every precaution not to “fuck this one up”. Thanks for the advice guys!)

And then came Superbowl… and he was wanting me to meet his friends. At least I only introduced him to 2 at a time (and they were a couple at that). I, on the other hand, got to meet a chunk of the clan. I am very pleased to say that his boys are a wonderful group of people and they were very nice and welcoming to me. I guess that massive swarm of butterflies I barely prevented from vomiting up really wasn’t necessary. It took me a full 3.5 seconds before I felt 100% comfortable there (the ice cold Newcastle also helped). I am also extremely pleased to announce that none of them fell under the category of douchbaggery and lame-sauce. And to top it off, they all seemed to like me too–At least they treated me as an equal (that also might have had something to do with the beer).

So now, here we are. My online dating adventure has kind of come to an end, and a fresh and new relationship adventure has taken it’s place.

I can practically hear my girl friends cheering in the background.

I guess it isn’t completely impossible for a girl to find a decent guy in the big city. I was proven wrong–I’ll admit it. And  if someone were to ever ask me, I’d say taking the risk of the online dating world is totally worth it. And even if you don’t meet anyone that’s right for you, ladies, you’ll at least come up on some free food and drinks. Guys, well maybe you’ll get a piece of ass. No promises though.

To all my wonderful readers: Thanks for coming on this journey with me. It’s been real 🙂

I am not sure if completely chronicling my relationship on the internet is the best of ideas, but I am sure I’ll find something to keep you all entertained while you attempt to look busy at work.


Happy [Belated] Valentine’s Day

Ahhh… the day of Hallmark cards and mystery boxed chocolates. What could possibly say “I love you” more?

I hope all you loves birds had a great one! And for everyone who missed the grand ball…. you didn’t really want to dance with those bitches anyway 😉

I’ve always  been a little on the fence when it comes to this holiday (and the majority of other things). I mean, why does there have to be a designated day to show someone how much you care about them. Especially if you love them.

Tip #9: Always remember to tell the people you love that you love them — Everyday. You never know… they might get hit by a bus… or eaten by a rabid squirrel.

I am an avid believer in this. Why? Mostly because I am scarred by an encounter I had in elementary school with my friend’s mother: As my dad was dropping me off, I gave him a hug and said goodbye, but to this woman’s ghastly shock I happened to refrain from saying “I love you.” She was very quick to point out that I needed to always tell people I loved them because “you never know if something would happen to them before I saw them again.” Thanks lady. Fifteen years later I am still paranoid that the one time I rush out the door from my parents’ house without saying I love you, disaster will strike.

Bitch (jk).

Anyways, so I have weird mixed feelings about this so called holiday. However, I am not above admitting that it can be nice if you have someone to share the day with.

And guess what…… I had someone nice to share it with this year.

Yeah, I need to play a little catch on here. But to make a long story short: “Joe” = boyfriend.

Bet you didn’t see that one coming.

The Feature Presentation.

Movie night — The epitome of spending the night in.

A couple nights ago “Joe” came over we shared some dinner, wine, enjoyed watching a movie together, and obsessed over how incredibly blue Bradley Cooper’s eyes looked — ok that one was mostly me. It was a nice change of pace. I think it opened my eyes to a few things and allowed me to finally chill the fuck out. So yes, ok, I’ll admit it. This guy is cool, and well, I like him and I am excited over being able to get to know him better.

There I said it.

Phew. Ok, so the sky hasn’t crashed down upon my poor little head. I guess this is a good sign.

But you’re probably wondering what set this all off since the last time I mentioned him I felt as though we lacked a connection. Well, I’m sure you’ve picked up on the fact that I can be a bit of a nervous wreck, and that I can be overly protective of myself. It’s a defense mechanism. I don’t want to get hurt, and quite frankly, the last few months of my life have been blissfully wonderful without having anyone constantly breathing down my neck (and I mean this in the most nonsexual way possible).

Anyways it began with a phone call. I was in a bit of a funk after finding out my grandmother was in the hospital. I’m not one to pour my problems onto someone I don’t know well, but sure enough he asked and listened willingly. And then he proceeded to be there if I needed anything (which I’m still not quite comfortable to take him up on). My first instinct was that he was just being nice. But about a week later he still remembered what was going on, and he asked how myself and my family was doing again.

Damn, I am such a sucker.

But you know what, this time I have no complaints.

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Let’s Take A Walk.

A couple nights ago I was walking over to my friends’ apartment, when suddenly, my solo journey became an unexpected duo.

“Excuse me. Would you mind if I walked with you for a minute?”

“Um… ok.”

“I just wanted to ask: What ethnicity are you?”

The old me would normally scoff at such an encounter. But the new me (I’m trying, alright) decided that this could possibly be an interesting experience that I would have otherwise completely missed out on. Also, I LOVE when people ask me about my ethnicity, it’s one of my favorite games — since no one ever gets it right.

SPOILER ALERT: I’m half Chinese, and half everything that is white.

It’s really not that exciting. I liked it better when someone was convinced I was Puerto Rican… I know, right?!

Anyways, so I responded with my classic, and totally predictable, response of:


Wrong. Wrong again. Close, but still wrong.

So, I finally relinquished my not-so-epic secret identity. Small talk ensued. Turns out were in the same industry (supposedly) — which really isn’t a surprise. I mean honestly, why can’t I meet a doctor in LA? Probably because they wouldn’t be caught dead walking the streets of North Hollywood, on a weekday night, and attempting to pick up on a young woman — especially if that woman happened to be me, because quite frankly, I am still convinced that I lack in the luck department.

We finally reached his stop, which thankfully was before mine. He asked how he could get a hold of me, you know, for work purposes (yeah, right). So I gave him my email address, which he attempted to memorize since neither of us had a pen.

I didn’t bother to correct him when he repeated it wrong. But, I’ll at least admit that it was interesting company for a couple blocks.

Oh yeah, and I’m having a movie night with “Joe” tonight. Bet you didn’t see that one coming….

Oh, The Irony.

My online subscription has officiallly ended — and naturally I would get flooded with emails today.

Son of a bitch! Sometimes I wish I wasn’t such a curious person (not really). But what I have learned from my two month long stint is that the chances of these emails being from someone I find interest in, are quite slim. But still…. what if? I can feel my credit card burning a hole in my pocket……

Wait, no!

Alright, so I know that I need to give every-day-life meeting-people-spontaneously a decent shot. Or just back off completely. You know, sometimes I still think that rock I was hiding under is a pretty fucking awesome place to be…. it was just simply easier.

I guess it is becoming quite clear that I am not really looking for/wanting/needing/(ready for) a relationship. I just want to meet people. I want to someday find myself in a situation where I meet this super kick ass friend, and then I have that epic “ah-ha!” moment one morning and realize that that friendship is evolving (rather than wanting to shrivel up and die over the thought of feeling stuck, suffocated, and criticized for all of eternity).

God, I watch way too many fucking movies.

I blame you, Disney.

What I do know, is that I need a bit of time to clear my head (and stop PMSing) and just forget about this whole thing for a bit. If after a couple weeks I decide to try again, sweet. If not, sweet.


Let’s Just Be Friends.

About a week ago I went on a fourth date with “Joe”. He had gone away for the holidays, so it had been a while since we talked, but when he came back to LA, he was still interested in going out.

He planned another awesome night, and I definitely give him props for putting so much thought into everything, but by the end of it I felt like something was still missing. Don’t get me wrong — I think we have a lot in common, and I am positive that we both enjoy more than enough of the same activities to keep us occupied for all of eternity.

So why did I feel so horribly empty?

I guess I could have considered this the “Q & A” date. He wanted to get to know me better and I had no problem with him asking me questions. I answered honestly, and our conversation was fun and light, but I wanted more than just talking about our favorite movies etc. I wanted to talk about things that went deeper than the surface — things that probably aren’t appropriate for a fourth date (then again, what the hell do I know?). I was curious about what he thinks about the world, politics, religion; fuck, maybe even global warming. It’s embedded in my personality to want to pick someone’s brain — find out what makes them tick, what they are really passionate about. It could be because he isn’t comfortable with that yet, but I think it’s because we just don’t have that connection.

I’ll be completely honest. It kind of turned me off that he kissed me on our first date. Sure, the moment was cute but it just wasn’t special (in that epic movie moment kind of way). And I don’t know about the whole “love at first sight” bullshit that Hollywood force feeds us, but I do know that you either click on a different level, or you don’t.

And I just don’t think that we do.

My online subscription ends in a couple days (for real this time), and I am thinking that I would be better off trying to meet people the old fashioned way for a while.

Secrets Don’t Make Friends.

This was left in front of my door sometime this afternoon/early evening. Inside it has some sort of homemade chocolate candy. No note, no name, no nothing.


Now, I can honestly say that none of the guys that I have met have been to my apartment, so there is no way that it could be from them. Also, unless you live in my building, you can’t exactly just walk in. So, then I thought that perhaps a neighbor left it, except that I haven’t really spoken to, or met, any of my neighbors other than during those awkward moments in the elevator — and even after thinking about those people, the chances of it being any of them is highly unlikely.

So, this is my conclusion:

1. Someone left this at my door by accident, and the poor fool who is actually trying to impress someone completely failed.

– or-

2. My neighbors are tired of me playing my music too loudly and are attempting to poison me.

But as random as this little incident is, it made me think about the entire “secret admirer” scenario (and this goes for both men and women). There are so many different (and better) ways to go about this. The gesture itself is close to hitting the mark, but you should really leave some sort of hint or indication that: A. it’s for the person. and B. that it’s not a delicious and chocolatey murder weapon. If you don’t know the person’s name, get creative and put something on it! How about “for the lovely lady”. Actually, scratch that since it’s equally creepy. But seriously, leaving an unmarked black box in front of my door makes me think “bomb threat” before “gesture of admiration”.

With that being said, I didn’t quite know what to do with it. I’m not comfortable with eating it, and I would feel like a complete ass if I took it when in actuality it was made for someone else. So, I decided on leaving it where it was, with a note asking “who are you?”. If it was a mistake, maybe they will realize it and give it to it’s rightful owner. If it is meant for me (with good intentions), well then I encourage you to try again. And hopefully I can meet you!

Or if it is someone that I do know…. well then I am just baffled. And incredibly curious.

Zero Degrees.

So, the other night I went on a date with this fireman.

Can I be a total cliche and say that it lacked anything closely resembling a spark? To be honest, I am actually surprised that I didn’t catch a chill… and then die.

Now, I know of worse dating horror stories… but did those come complete with a born and raised Californian — with a Boston accent?

I think not.

I have heard of people catching on to the way the other people talk if they are around them often enough. But seriously? I mean, are you fucking kidding me?

I almost feel bad about writing about this (almost) because the guy wasn’t a bad guy. I mean, he saves burning buildings and cats out of trees and shit. Not to mention, he was really nice to look at for a few hours. But once I started to realize I was rolling my eyes whenever he wasn’t looking, or that I was continuously distracted by his guido chain, I knew it had happened — my first BAD date.

Jesus Christ. I’ll never complain about a guy not talking enough again, because boy, he could talk! And I tried really hard, scout’s honor, to try and have a good time and be engaged in the conversation, but I just wasn’t feeling it. But don’t worry, I was more than capable of saving face so that the night wasn’t any more awkward than it already was. He probably thought I had the time of my life. But between you and me, if I had to pick my favorite part of the date, I’d say it’s a tie between when I downed my second beer and when the night finally ended.

Tip #8: Don’t judge a book by it’s cover. Even if it’s a really hot, muscley, cover.


New Year, Fresh Starts.

Well, it appears that 2012 is going to be the year of not wasting any time! Looks like this whole optimism thing is working out for me.

I already have a date. Tonight.

I’ve only been talking to this guy for a few days, so this should be interesting — and hopefully not in a bad way. If all fails…. at least I can say I had a date with a fireman.

Fuck yeah.

Face Your Fears.

Alright, so with 2012 literally just around the corner, I thought it was only appropriate to reevaluate a few things about my dating life (or lack of). I mean, yes, I am talking to “Joe” and it’s all dandy but let’s just say I want to know what it’s like to DATE. You know, like meet multiple people…. and without being such a puss about it. I’ve done the whole relationship thing and I just want to experience dating before I get stuck — I mean, locked up; no that’s not right either. I just want to date around before I fall in love again. I don’t think that is unreasonable.

My friend actually gave me an interesting challenge not too long ago: Go on two dates, with two different guys, on the same day.

Holy shit. Well that just seems impossible. I initially laughed at the proposition and I am still baffled over how she was able to pull that stunt off back in her dating days. I mean, not only was she able to score two free meals, she was actually able to get two different guys to show interest in her, and she didn’t completely butcher the situation by mixing up their names! But, then I thought about it: Why wouldn’t I be capable of such a thing? It would at least make a great story. So, I decided I’m going to be a little more open about this whole dating thing and not be so negative about it. And, since the website I am using decided to renew my subscription (actually I am just a dumbass and didn’t cancel before the automatic renewal) I am going to try to meet some new people. I have actually already started and started talking to a couple guys that seem nice. Maybe that two date thing isn’t impossible for me.

It has also been brought to my attention that I am just an intimidating and/or intense person, but it wasn’t until very recently that I actually realized my own antics. Ok, so I get it. But my thing is, a guy can either hang or he can’t. Right? I mean, if he actually tried and got through the walls I currently have up, he’d realize I’m actually a fantastic catch.
Which brings me to my second little New Years resolution: Work on those walls!

I know it’s not fair to have them up, but I am just protecting myself. And part of me just wants to meet a guy that cares enough to try and figure me out. Is that horribly selfish of me? Probably. But I can at least promise myself not to completely shut people out, and to fight the urge of running away a little better, when it’s obvious that someone is willing to at least try.

It’s probably just the holidays that are making me a little cynical. So let’s turn this frown upside down and make it into something positive: When all my friends are too busy sucking face with their significant others tonight at midnight, I call dibs on all their neglected champagne glasses!

Cheers to that!

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