Monthly Archives: January 2012

The Feature Presentation.

Movie night — The epitome of spending the night in.

A couple nights ago “Joe” came over we shared some dinner, wine, enjoyed watching a movie together, and obsessed over how incredibly blue Bradley Cooper’s eyes looked — ok that one was mostly me. It was a nice change of pace. I think it opened my eyes to a few things and allowed me to finally chill the fuck out. So yes, ok, I’ll admit it. This guy is cool, and well, I like him and I am excited over being able to get to know him better.

There I said it.

Phew. Ok, so the sky hasn’t crashed down upon my poor little head. I guess this is a good sign.

But you’re probably wondering what set this all off since the last time I mentioned him I felt as though we lacked a connection. Well, I’m sure you’ve picked up on the fact that I can be a bit of a nervous wreck, and that I can be overly protective of myself. It’s a defense mechanism. I don’t want to get hurt, and quite frankly, the last few months of my life have been blissfully wonderful without having anyone constantly breathing down my neck (and I mean this in the most nonsexual way possible).

Anyways it began with a phone call. I was in a bit of a funk after finding out my grandmother was in the hospital. I’m not one to pour my problems onto someone I don’t know well, but sure enough he asked and listened willingly. And then he proceeded to be there if I needed anything (which I’m still not quite comfortable to take him up on). My first instinct was that he was just being nice. But about a week later he still remembered what was going on, and he asked how myself and my family was doing again.

Damn, I am such a sucker.

But you know what, this time I have no complaints.

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Let’s Take A Walk.

A couple nights ago I was walking over to my friends’ apartment, when suddenly, my solo journey became an unexpected duo.

“Excuse me. Would you mind if I walked with you for a minute?”

“Um… ok.”

“I just wanted to ask: What ethnicity are you?”

The old me would normally scoff at such an encounter. But the new me (I’m trying, alright) decided that this could possibly be an interesting experience that I would have otherwise completely missed out on. Also, I LOVE when people ask me about my ethnicity, it’s one of my favorite games — since no one ever gets it right.

SPOILER ALERT: I’m half Chinese, and half everything that is white.

It’s really not that exciting. I liked it better when someone was convinced I was Puerto Rican… I know, right?!

Anyways, so I responded with my classic, and totally predictable, response of:


Wrong. Wrong again. Close, but still wrong.

So, I finally relinquished my not-so-epic secret identity. Small talk ensued. Turns out were in the same industry (supposedly) — which really isn’t a surprise. I mean honestly, why can’t I meet a doctor in LA? Probably because they wouldn’t be caught dead walking the streets of North Hollywood, on a weekday night, and attempting to pick up on a young woman — especially if that woman happened to be me, because quite frankly, I am still convinced that I lack in the luck department.

We finally reached his stop, which thankfully was before mine. He asked how he could get a hold of me, you know, for work purposes (yeah, right). So I gave him my email address, which he attempted to memorize since neither of us had a pen.

I didn’t bother to correct him when he repeated it wrong. But, I’ll at least admit that it was interesting company for a couple blocks.

Oh yeah, and I’m having a movie night with “Joe” tonight. Bet you didn’t see that one coming….

Oh, The Irony.

My online subscription has officiallly ended — and naturally I would get flooded with emails today.

Son of a bitch! Sometimes I wish I wasn’t such a curious person (not really). But what I have learned from my two month long stint is that the chances of these emails being from someone I find interest in, are quite slim. But still…. what if? I can feel my credit card burning a hole in my pocket……

Wait, no!

Alright, so I know that I need to give every-day-life meeting-people-spontaneously a decent shot. Or just back off completely. You know, sometimes I still think that rock I was hiding under is a pretty fucking awesome place to be…. it was just simply easier.

I guess it is becoming quite clear that I am not really looking for/wanting/needing/(ready for) a relationship. I just want to meet people. I want to someday find myself in a situation where I meet this super kick ass friend, and then I have that epic “ah-ha!” moment one morning and realize that that friendship is evolving (rather than wanting to shrivel up and die over the thought of feeling stuck, suffocated, and criticized for all of eternity).

God, I watch way too many fucking movies.

I blame you, Disney.

What I do know, is that I need a bit of time to clear my head (and stop PMSing) and just forget about this whole thing for a bit. If after a couple weeks I decide to try again, sweet. If not, sweet.


Let’s Just Be Friends.

About a week ago I went on a fourth date with “Joe”. He had gone away for the holidays, so it had been a while since we talked, but when he came back to LA, he was still interested in going out.

He planned another awesome night, and I definitely give him props for putting so much thought into everything, but by the end of it I felt like something was still missing. Don’t get me wrong — I think we have a lot in common, and I am positive that we both enjoy more than enough of the same activities to keep us occupied for all of eternity.

So why did I feel so horribly empty?

I guess I could have considered this the “Q & A” date. He wanted to get to know me better and I had no problem with him asking me questions. I answered honestly, and our conversation was fun and light, but I wanted more than just talking about our favorite movies etc. I wanted to talk about things that went deeper than the surface — things that probably aren’t appropriate for a fourth date (then again, what the hell do I know?). I was curious about what he thinks about the world, politics, religion; fuck, maybe even global warming. It’s embedded in my personality to want to pick someone’s brain — find out what makes them tick, what they are really passionate about. It could be because he isn’t comfortable with that yet, but I think it’s because we just don’t have that connection.

I’ll be completely honest. It kind of turned me off that he kissed me on our first date. Sure, the moment was cute but it just wasn’t special (in that epic movie moment kind of way). And I don’t know about the whole “love at first sight” bullshit that Hollywood force feeds us, but I do know that you either click on a different level, or you don’t.

And I just don’t think that we do.

My online subscription ends in a couple days (for real this time), and I am thinking that I would be better off trying to meet people the old fashioned way for a while.

Secrets Don’t Make Friends.

This was left in front of my door sometime this afternoon/early evening. Inside it has some sort of homemade chocolate candy. No note, no name, no nothing.


Now, I can honestly say that none of the guys that I have met have been to my apartment, so there is no way that it could be from them. Also, unless you live in my building, you can’t exactly just walk in. So, then I thought that perhaps a neighbor left it, except that I haven’t really spoken to, or met, any of my neighbors other than during those awkward moments in the elevator — and even after thinking about those people, the chances of it being any of them is highly unlikely.

So, this is my conclusion:

1. Someone left this at my door by accident, and the poor fool who is actually trying to impress someone completely failed.

– or-

2. My neighbors are tired of me playing my music too loudly and are attempting to poison me.

But as random as this little incident is, it made me think about the entire “secret admirer” scenario (and this goes for both men and women). There are so many different (and better) ways to go about this. The gesture itself is close to hitting the mark, but you should really leave some sort of hint or indication that: A. it’s for the person. and B. that it’s not a delicious and chocolatey murder weapon. If you don’t know the person’s name, get creative and put something on it! How about “for the lovely lady”. Actually, scratch that since it’s equally creepy. But seriously, leaving an unmarked black box in front of my door makes me think “bomb threat” before “gesture of admiration”.

With that being said, I didn’t quite know what to do with it. I’m not comfortable with eating it, and I would feel like a complete ass if I took it when in actuality it was made for someone else. So, I decided on leaving it where it was, with a note asking “who are you?”. If it was a mistake, maybe they will realize it and give it to it’s rightful owner. If it is meant for me (with good intentions), well then I encourage you to try again. And hopefully I can meet you!

Or if it is someone that I do know…. well then I am just baffled. And incredibly curious.

Zero Degrees.

So, the other night I went on a date with this fireman.

Can I be a total cliche and say that it lacked anything closely resembling a spark? To be honest, I am actually surprised that I didn’t catch a chill… and then die.

Now, I know of worse dating horror stories… but did those come complete with a born and raised Californian — with a Boston accent?

I think not.

I have heard of people catching on to the way the other people talk if they are around them often enough. But seriously? I mean, are you fucking kidding me?

I almost feel bad about writing about this (almost) because the guy wasn’t a bad guy. I mean, he saves burning buildings and cats out of trees and shit. Not to mention, he was really nice to look at for a few hours. But once I started to realize I was rolling my eyes whenever he wasn’t looking, or that I was continuously distracted by his guido chain, I knew it had happened — my first BAD date.

Jesus Christ. I’ll never complain about a guy not talking enough again, because boy, he could talk! And I tried really hard, scout’s honor, to try and have a good time and be engaged in the conversation, but I just wasn’t feeling it. But don’t worry, I was more than capable of saving face so that the night wasn’t any more awkward than it already was. He probably thought I had the time of my life. But between you and me, if I had to pick my favorite part of the date, I’d say it’s a tie between when I downed my second beer and when the night finally ended.

Tip #8: Don’t judge a book by it’s cover. Even if it’s a really hot, muscley, cover.


New Year, Fresh Starts.

Well, it appears that 2012 is going to be the year of not wasting any time! Looks like this whole optimism thing is working out for me.

I already have a date. Tonight.

I’ve only been talking to this guy for a few days, so this should be interesting — and hopefully not in a bad way. If all fails…. at least I can say I had a date with a fireman.

Fuck yeah.

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