The other day I received this message from a 40+ year old:
I wonder what it be like to know you better and share your passion and all that you are including your love and what makes you happy in life.
Ok bucko, can we all just be realistic for 5 seconds and honestly try and answer ourselves: why do people in their 40s insist on trying to have a relationship with people in their 20s?! I mean, really? People think this is a good idea? People actually think that someone my age is going to see someone pushing 50 and think “ohmygod, he’s the one”. Look, I know you don’t give two shits about me, or any of the other young ladies I am sure you’re bothering, so cut the bullshit and stop acting like you really want to hear what our dreams and aspirations are (and if you absolutely feel that it is a matter of life or death to send such a message, could it at least make grammatical sense?).
So, I came up with a helpful list of reasons of why people need to just pull their heads out of their asses and act their age.
1. If you and I were to ever walk down the street together, they’d probably think you were my dad.
2. What could we possibly have in common? I mean, when you start talking about the Roe vs Wade case, I guess I could counter back and talk about how awesome the Britney Spears concert I went to was.
3. My profile clearly says I am interested in men between the ages of 24-30. With that being said, I can now assume that you don’t know how to read.
4. Every time you get a new smart phone, I don’t want to have to teach you how to use it.
Tip #4: Work within your own demographic. Seriously.