Monthly Archives: December 2011

Face Your Fears.

Alright, so with 2012 literally just around the corner, I thought it was only appropriate to reevaluate a few things about my dating life (or lack of). I mean, yes, I am talking to “Joe” and it’s all dandy but let’s just say I want to know what it’s like to DATE. You know, like meet multiple people…. and without being such a puss about it. I’ve done the whole relationship thing and I just want to experience dating before I get stuck — I mean, locked up; no that’s not right either. I just want to date around before I fall in love again. I don’t think that is unreasonable.

My friend actually gave me an interesting challenge not too long ago: Go on two dates, with two different guys, on the same day.

Holy shit. Well that just seems impossible. I initially laughed at the proposition and I am still baffled over how she was able to pull that stunt off back in her dating days. I mean, not only was she able to score two free meals, she was actually able to get two different guys to show interest in her, and she didn’t completely butcher the situation by mixing up their names! But, then I thought about it: Why wouldn’t I be capable of such a thing? It would at least make a great story. So, I decided I’m going to be a little more open about this whole dating thing and not be so negative about it. And, since the website I am using decided to renew my subscription (actually I am just a dumbass and didn’t cancel before the automatic renewal) I am going to try to meet some new people. I have actually already started and started talking to a couple guys that seem nice. Maybe that two date thing isn’t impossible for me.

It has also been brought to my attention that I am just an intimidating and/or intense person, but it wasn’t until very recently that I actually realized my own antics. Ok, so I get it. But my thing is, a guy can either hang or he can’t. Right? I mean, if he actually tried and got through the walls I currently have up, he’d realize I’m actually a fantastic catch.
Which brings me to my second little New Years resolution: Work on those walls!

I know it’s not fair to have them up, but I am just protecting myself. And part of me just wants to meet a guy that cares enough to try and figure me out. Is that horribly selfish of me? Probably. But I can at least promise myself not to completely shut people out, and to fight the urge of running away a little better, when it’s obvious that someone is willing to at least try.

It’s probably just the holidays that are making me a little cynical. So let’s turn this frown upside down and make it into something positive: When all my friends are too busy sucking face with their significant others tonight at midnight, I call dibs on all their neglected champagne glasses!

Cheers to that!


Third Time’s The Charm

After much thought, and an obnoxiously large amount of deliberating, I decided that going on a third date with “Joe” would be a good idea.

I think I made the right decision.

But let’s back track for a second: I am not the best when it comes to dating. In fact it terrifies me. Yep, I’m one of those girls that found herself in back to back long relationships (cue sob story music for shitty ex boyfriends) and therefore have no real experience with actual “dating”. Then I went on my long overdue Miss Independent stomp across the greater Los Angeles area. And THEN I decided I was ready to maybe try out dating — only to result in a panic that crippled me to the floor so fast that I realized I was probably a little more damaged than I cared to admit. Ok, maybe not damaged, but much much much more cautious than I used to be. So when it came to date #3, I found myself in a bit of a battle against myself. Part of me wanted to run away and hide, and the other part of me was way too curious to let the opportunity pass me by. I also had my trusty girlfriend to remind me of how happy I was after our last date. What happened to that version of me?

So I left it up to him.

If he could remember that we talked about going out again, I would. But I wasn’t going to say a word about it. Sure enough, he remembered and asked me if I was still up for it, so I said sure.

Well, let’s just say this guy knows me pretty well for not really knowing me (and I am not even sure if he is aware of how spot on he is). City lights on a Monday night is more than enough to make me swoon a bit (ok, a lot). He even remembered to call me on my birthday, which resulted in a big goofy grin and my girl friends getting way over excited over seeing me smile about a guy.

And now, supposedly, he wants to take me snowboarding, where I am positive I will proceed to kill myself on the side of a mountain. Hopefully he doesn’t mind cleaning up the mess.

Tip #7: Actions speak louder than words. If you say you’re going to do something, do it. It might lead to a fun new adventure.

Wait, What?

Wow, thats a powerful smile… I’d bet it can grow back a limb!

What the fuck is that supposed to mean?

Did someone get dismembered and not tell me?

Well, that’s not very nice.

The Fork In the Road.

If I have done my math right (and there is a huge chance that I didn’t), it appears as though my subscription is about to end, and I haven’t decided whether or not I want to renew (I am also, admittedly, being a tad cheap).

While I can easily say that my experience so far has been good, or at least far more entertaining than I ever could have hoped, I am still not sure of whether or not it’s worth it. I had hoped that I would be, but I’m still a fucking skeptic about the whole process.

Sure, I met a really nice guy. We enjoy hanging out, it’s looking like a third date is going to happen, and I’m definitely curious and interested enough to see where this goes. I guess the question is whether or not I want to attempt the old fashioned meet-a-guy-randomly type of thing (which I am absolutely horrible at, naturally). Whether or not a girl will admit it, we all want to have that hopeless romantic, When Harry Met Sally, moment. I know, it’s gross.

Just to try and see if I was a little more capable after this month long ego boost, I attempted to see if I could get a random guy at the market to talk to me (or hell, even look at me).

Of course I failed.

And before you think I’m parading around the store looking for attention, I wasn’t. I just so happened to pass by a guy and thought “Hey, this could possibly be a good opportunity.” Nope, nothing. Maybe I should just browse the liqueur isle a bit more — then again, what I have learned from that little scenario is that guys prefer my best friend wearing the sweat pants.

Go me.

Good Question

I received a message with the most random question…. Therefore I knew you’d all love it:

Who wins in a fight Oprah Winfrey or Martha Stewart? Go!

Well, at first I wanted to say Oprah. But then I thought about it.

Martha Stewart. Without a doubt.

That crazy bitch went to prison.

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Seconds, Please.

On Friday night I had my second date with the guy I met online (I think this guy needs a nickname or something — let’s call him Joe).

So Joe picks me up from my place. I normally would have strongly advised against giving out my address, but I figured that if he turned out to be insane and began to stalk me, the security guard outside could totally kick his face in (however, this would be horribly unfortunate because I had a great time and I particularly like his face).

We had another awesome dinner and fun story swapping time, which is something that I really enjoy.

Tip #5: Guys — girls can be just as easily won over through their stomachs. Either that, or a pair of shoes (I wear a 6.5 *wink*).

Dinner was followed by one of the best comedy shows I have ever experienced at The Laugh Factory. To top it off, my favorite comedian, Russell Peters, just so happened to be one of the special guests, who ironically we were talking about just a couple hours before he graced the stage. I promptly had to make sure I hadn’t shit myself over this perfectly pleasant surprise (I didn’t — phew!). Joe couldn’t have planned it better himself, but I am sure he was enjoying the fact I went completely bonkers over the mere mention of Russell’s name by the host, and the 10 million brownie points that automatically resulted from this.

By the end of the night I felt completely spoiled. I’d say the chance of a third date is looking good. So, I guess we’ll see what happens…

Tip #6: If you can make a girl laugh enough (for the right reasons), she being up for another date is pretty much guaranteed.



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The First, First Date.

So Tuesday was my first date with the guy that I met online… and it went great.

If I back track to earlier that day and relive how nervous and neurotic I was probably acting, I can even say that it went really great. The fact that I wasn’t stood up alone make its 100 times better, and I’ll admit that I was convinced that this would happen (because that would just be my luck).

We met at a local bar and shared some good food, drinks, and laughs. And I was surprisingly really comfortable, considering that the only interaction we had previously were emails, one phone call, and a couple text messages. The awkwardness lasted maybe about 2.5 seconds when we first saw each other and I briefly hesitated  to go in for a hug (I can sometimes be a little too friendly — he didn’t mind).

I guess all those nonsense compatibility questions that had me pulling my hair out really worked. I probably had about 5 “what the fuck is going on” moments that night — and I mean that in a good way.

This meet up went so well, in fact, that we are going on another date tomorrow night. I wasn’t sure what it was that I was expecting to come from this encounter. But I like where it is going.



Act Your Age.

The other day I received this message from a 40+ year old:

Hi there, 
I wonder what it be like to know you better and share your passion and all that you are including your love and what makes you happy in life. 

Ok bucko, can we all just be realistic for 5 seconds and honestly try and answer ourselves: why do people in their 40s insist on trying to have a relationship with people in their 20s?! I mean, really? People think this is a good idea? People actually think that someone my age is going to see someone pushing 50 and think “ohmygod, he’s the one”. Look, I know you don’t give two shits about me, or any of the other young ladies I am sure you’re bothering, so cut the bullshit and stop acting like you really want to hear what our dreams and aspirations are (and if you absolutely feel that it is a matter of life or death to send such a message, could it at least make grammatical sense?).

So, I came up with a helpful list of reasons of why people need to just pull their heads out of their asses and act their age.

1. If you and I were to ever walk down the street together, they’d probably think you were my dad.

2. What could we possibly have in common? I mean, when you start talking about the Roe vs Wade case, I guess I could counter back and talk about how awesome the Britney Spears concert I went to was.

3. My profile clearly says I am interested in men between the ages of 24-30. With that being said, I can now assume that you don’t know how to read.

4. Every time you get a new smart phone, I don’t want to have to teach you how to use it.

Tip #4: Work within your own demographic. Seriously.

Ring Ring.

As it turns out, I am a little more gutsy than I had originally thought. Then again, being separated by a computer screen can give you all kinds of courage, kind of like a nice stiff drink (Mmm… whiskey, anyone?).

See, believe it or not, I have been emailing back and forth with a guy that actually really peaked my interest. He was one of the first guys I came into virtual contact with and pretty much the only one that I have been able to carry an entertaining conversation with (note: not to be confused with the guy I had previously exchanged numbers with. He was nice enough, but conversation with him felt more like extracting teeth). So I asked him is he wanted to exchange numbers.

Yeah, I pretty much threw out the entire “wait for the guy to make the first move” premise out the window. So, sue me.

Last night we had out first phone call and I’d say it went really well. First off, this guy is hysterical so that’s an automatic 10 brownie points in my book. Also, I have a pretty sarcastic, and sometimes (ok, usually) raunchy, sense of humor — 10 more brownie points for picking up on that and not censoring yourself after only about 15 minutes of conversation.

Naturally, we decided we should meet. And naturally, I’m busy as hell. Poor guy probably thinks I am a hot mess and a work-a-holic, which is kind of true at the moment (I was referring to being a work-a-holic, but technically this could apply to both). But, that didn’t seem to bother him much. He was more than willing to work it out for what worked for me (another 10 points). So, we set a date for next week! Well, more of a “let’s meet at a bar and kick back a couple beers” which is totally fine with me!

But, HOLY SHIT! — I have a date.

Fuck…. now I need to shave my legs.

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